Life, Family, and Teacher Status Update

Life, Family, and Teacher Status Update as of November 1, 2020

I think it's important to document my professional and personal status. I've had this blog since 2011, so I've changed as a person, mother, wife, and teacher. Here's the skinny...

I'm now in my 26th year of teaching. My daughter, Liz, is a freshman at Western Kentucky University, and Roman is a freshman in high school. Most importantly, he, she, they, we, ALL survived middle school. Whoohoo!

I left ELA (English) AND my beloved 6th graders to teach 7th grade Ancient History, and I LOVE IT! The difference between teaching 6th grade and 7th grade is like having two different careers. The kids are THAT different. The mental and physical maturity completely disrupt the person's emotional maturity, causing a momentary ripple in the universe. The first time parents experience this, they're confused, frustrated, even saddened by the loss of their kid's childhood.

I was different that way. Roman and Liz's middle school years were the years I understood them best. 

THE GIRL:

When Liz threw her backpack in the car one day, slammed the door, and declared the world was ending because her principal just YELLED at her to walk up to the front of the car rider line. I knew exactly what to do.

Me: Will Sonic make it better?

Her: Yes! Sonic will make it better. (She's still yelling.)

She stomps her bookbag. 

Pause.

Her: Sonic makes everything better!!

Yes, my girl, it does. Ice cream is the best medicine. 

...and scene! 

Mean girl drama? I got this! 

She said she didn't like your hair today? They pretended you were invisible? They were mean to the new girl? They videoed you and posted it on social media without permission? 

All teachable moments on how to deal with problems life will throw your way. I knew not to deflect or protect, but to teach her how to deal with these moments. I saw them as gifts. 

THE BOY:

Boys are so different. Roman changed more physically. Emotionally, there was an impediment. The maturity process is extremely delayed with adolescent boys. 

Him: I'm perfectly fine making B's. Why would I want to work that hard to make an A?

Me: <GASP> Well, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Him: An engineer. I'm going to be a mechanical engineer.

Me: <BOOM! If that's what he wants to do, he'll have to work hard.>

As a teacher, I value work ethic over grades. As his mother, this challenge would be the scariest. Luckily, his teachers saw him for who he was, cultivated his quirkiness, and always helped him when he asked. He was working to please them. I would have to settle for the external motivation over internal motivation for now. That's a scary gamble. 

Then it happened. Our 8th graders do a PBL (Project Based Learning) where they take a test called Kuder, or You Science, that helps them determine their professional aptitude. All three of his top occupations were indeed, engineering. That lit the fire.

At his high school registration, I boldly manipulated the system, and placed him in all honor's classes. It's do or die. He's doing, so far.

Now that Roman has started high school, I miss him walking the halls with me.  He always came by between classes to visit and was happy 99% of the time. It was so different from my girl, who stressed about her grades and school 24/7. Every child is so different.

But we all survived it.

Student Accountability in State Testing

Should students receive a report card grade for state standardized tests?

For the first time in Tennessee's testing history, students will receive a grade for the Tennessee Comprehensive Assessment Program, or TCAP. According to this article that appeared in the Tennessean on April 12 of this year, Public Chapter 1127, a new state law, requires counties to count these tests 15-25% of students' second semester grades. My county has chosen to count the test as 20%, which is comparable to the weight of the end-of-course (EOC) testing in high schools. As it stands, a student's semester average will consist of 70% daily grades and tests, 10% final exam, and 20% TCAP score.

Parent Perspective
As a parent, I am a little weary of this idea. I'm blessed in that both of my children attend great schools that receive top scores, but what if there's a tragedy or illness that occurs right before testing? When life deals circumstances that are out of his/her control, should they have to worry about that grade?

My fourth grader expressed concern about her social studies test, so I made an effort to look over her standards and review with her. We wouldn't have done any of that had she not been getting a grade.

Educator Perspective
As a middle school teacher, I'm grateful that students are taking more ownership of their performance. Kids are actually studying this year. Parents are asking great questions about our standards. Teachers, knowing that kids are trying harder, are helping students take ownership of their own learning by making them more aware of those standards. It's been extremely effective this year.

One other interesting thing has been observable. During our practice tests, we were able to identify the students who "Christmas tree" their answers instead of giving it an honest effort. (Full disclosure, I only had two boys.) After a short discussion with these students and their parents, we were able to stress how much this score affects them personally. It's not just about the teacher, anymore.

Perceptions of Middle School Transitions

"Perceptions of Middle School Transitions" by Stefanie Moore is a Prezi that offers parents and educators a thorough look at the middle school transition. It will show you student data, as well as teacher data. I was very impressed with her work! ENJOY!

http://prezi.com/prbvfoecwq4a/?utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=copy

Reality Check

What advice would you give to new middle school parents? Here's more good informationfrom a teacher.

Advice for parents: stay up-to-date with Portal and look at your child's agenda for homework assignments! Some of us have 175+ students daily, and we (unlike elementary teachers) may not realize your child's grade has dropped 2 points! We cannot call you about every single thing like you're used to in elementary school, but it doesn't mean we don't care or won't help out/answer emails/offer help!! Parents still need to be a part of the education process on a daily basis! Your child is NOT going to offer the information! ~Stacy (MS Teacher and mother)

Advice from a Middle School Teacher

This is so true. This is something all middle school teachers wish they could tell you, but never have the opportunity.

Advice to new middle school parents: 1) Middle School teachers do NOT conspire to keep you in the dark regarding your child's education, extracurricular activities, etc. Remember all those notes and letters that came home with your kids in elementary school when teachers/school leaders thought you needed to be informed of something? News flash - MS teachers send those home, too! MS students drop those things right into the trash on the way out the door because they don't feel you "need to know" that stuff - especially information regarding open house (who needs to meet teachers, anyway?), parent-teacher conferences (is an explanation here really necessary?), and detentions. 2) Despite rumors, MS teachers really do LIKE kids - yes, it's true! 3) It is no longer "cool" to eat lunch in the cafeteria with your child. Don't get your feelings hurt when your child doesn't turn flips when you ask if you can have lunch with him/her one day. They still love you, but the ridicule from their peers (they ALL do it) is not worth the 20 min. sharing smiley fries with mom. ;) ~Brandi (Veteran middle school teacher and mother of a college sophomore and high school junior.)

The transition from elementary school to middle school is very difficult for parents. The kids adjust well, but parents want things to be the same as they were in the fifth grade. Like Brandi said, they still need you, but they need you in a different way. Just step back, take a deep breath, monitor closely, and be a good sport.

Come up with a system in your home so you have a better chance at getting communication from school. Also, be proactive by checking the school's website for upcoming events. Bookmark teachers' websites and check them regularly. If your school system has an online grading program, monitor your child's grades once a week.

Drama Llama

Drama is NOT a middle school subject, but the preverbial stage is everpresent. This comes as a shock, I know. Middle school boys are not very dramatic, but the girls are competeing for the Oscars. I think some of this is hormonal, but nevertheless, it causes lots of angst in the home.

M is going into 7th grade. My biggest wish as a parent is I truly wish I knew how mean middle school girls can be. I thought it would be high school but nope it is middle school. By the third kid I have realized that girls are just crazy. With R there was never drama with my girls just about everyday!! So and so did not sit with me at lunch..... She has a new BFF and it is not me........ And of course my favorite is so and so has ( insert whatever they want that is of course very pricey) now if I don't get one no one will like me!! LOL

Remember, kids this age are just beginning to find themselves. Who am I outside of my family? is THE big question. Girls are more emotional and tend to define themselves by the company they keep (or don't keep). Tackle each issue as it arises, show her the "other" side of the story, remind her that character means everything. Most of all, remember the bad situation was only half as bad as it seemed to her. 

Avoid calling other mothers. Teach her to work it out to the best of her ability. You will know when it's time to step in, but do so carefully. Remember, they're very young.

TRUE bullying

 

Bend Like a Willow

This advice is from a parent who became a friend after I taught her son twice, once in the 2nd grade and again in the 5th. She challenged me, supported me, and as you'll be able to tell, her wisdom is amazing!

A new middle school parent should be aware that giving their kid an armor against being defined by anyone or anything other than themselves, will be one of the greatest gifts given. Events will happen to look like game-changing events (e.g., being cut from a sports team and wondering where life goes from there), and though decisions like this one are most certainly going to change the pattern of their life, they are NOT to be defined by the perceived rejection. "Get up. Chase the next great adventure in your life. Best foot forward, always." Teaching a kid at that age (or long before) that they are in control of and accountable for their decisions, their choices, their actions and the outcomes of events surrounding them, is a good way to build up the strength they will need to be a self-assured, strong-minded middle school student. "Bend like a willow or break like an oak." Willows survive the storm because they are strong, yet flexible. Oaks see only one way to get through it - and when the storm is too rough, they break. No more broken kids...let's equip them with the tools they need in order to "bend" in the storm. ~Tara Greene (mother of three adult children)

She's so right! Teach your child to not allow other people to define him/her. Feelings will be hurt because children this age do not have filters. They are all still a work in progress. Your son/daughter's attitude towards a difficult situation can/will make all the difference. Teach your child to BEND!