Advice for parents: stay up-to-date with Portal and look at your child's agenda for homework assignments! Some of us have 175+ students daily, and we (unlike elementary teachers) may not realize your child's grade has dropped 2 points! We cannot call you about every single thing like you're used to in elementary school, but it doesn't mean we don't care or won't help out/answer emails/offer help!! Parents still need to be a part of the education process on a daily basis! Your child is NOT going to offer the information! ~Stacy (MS Teacher and mother)
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Reality Check
What advice would you give to new middle school parents? Here's more good informationfrom a teacher.
Advice from a Middle School Teacher
This is so true. This is something all middle school teachers wish they could tell you, but never have the opportunity.
Come up with a system in your home so you have a better chance at getting communication from school. Also, be proactive by checking the school's website for upcoming events. Bookmark teachers' websites and check them regularly. If your school system has an online grading program, monitor your child's grades once a week.
Advice to new middle school parents: 1) Middle School teachers do NOT conspire to keep you in the dark regarding your child's education, extracurricular activities, etc. Remember all those notes and letters that came home with your kids in elementary school when teachers/school leaders thought you needed to be informed of something? News flash - MS teachers send those home, too! MS students drop those things right into the trash on the way out the door because they don't feel you "need to know" that stuff - especially information regarding open house (who needs to meet teachers, anyway?), parent-teacher conferences (is an explanation here really necessary?), and detentions. 2) Despite rumors, MS teachers really do LIKE kids - yes, it's true! 3) It is no longer "cool" to eat lunch in the cafeteria with your child. Don't get your feelings hurt when your child doesn't turn flips when you ask if you can have lunch with him/her one day. They still love you, but the ridicule from their peers (they ALL do it) is not worth the 20 min. sharing smiley fries with mom.The transition from elementary school to middle school is very difficult for parents. The kids adjust well, but parents want things to be the same as they were in the fifth grade. Like Brandi said, they still need you, but they need you in a different way. Just step back, take a deep breath, monitor closely, and be a good sport.
Come up with a system in your home so you have a better chance at getting communication from school. Also, be proactive by checking the school's website for upcoming events. Bookmark teachers' websites and check them regularly. If your school system has an online grading program, monitor your child's grades once a week.
Drama Llama
Drama is NOT a middle school subject, but the preverbial stage is everpresent. This comes as a shock, I know. Middle school boys are not very dramatic, but the girls are competeing for the Oscars. I think some of this is hormonal, but nevertheless, it causes lots of angst in the home.
Avoid calling other mothers. Teach her to work it out to the best of her ability. You will know when it's time to step in, but do so carefully. Remember, they're very young.
TRUE bullying
M is going into 7th grade. My biggest wish as a parent is I truly wish I knew how mean middle school girls can be. I thought it would be high school but nope it is middle school. By the third kid I have realized that girls are just crazy. With R there was never drama with my girls just about everyday!! So and so did not sit with me at lunch..... She has a new BFF and it is not me........ And of course my favorite is so and so has ( insert whatever they want that is of course very pricey) now if I don't get one no one will like me!! LOLRemember, kids this age are just beginning to find themselves. Who am I outside of my family? is THE big question. Girls are more emotional and tend to define themselves by the company they keep (or don't keep). Tackle each issue as it arises, show her the "other" side of the story, remind her that character means everything. Most of all, remember the bad situation was only half as bad as it seemed to her.
Avoid calling other mothers. Teach her to work it out to the best of her ability. You will know when it's time to step in, but do so carefully. Remember, they're very young.
TRUE bullying
Bend Like a Willow
This advice is from a parent who became a friend after I taught her son twice, once in the 2nd grade and again in the 5th. She challenged me, supported me, and as you'll be able to tell, her wisdom is amazing!
A new middle school parent should be aware that giving their kid an armor against being defined by anyone or anything other than themselves, will be one of the greatest gifts given. Events will happen to look like game-changing events (e.g., being cut from a sports team and wondering where life goes from there), and though decisions like this one are most certainly going to change the pattern of their life, they are NOT to be defined by the perceived rejection. "Get up. Chase the next great adventure in your life. Best foot forward, always." Teaching a kid at that age (or long before) that they are in control of and accountable for their decisions, their choices, their actions and the outcomes of events surrounding them, is a good way to build up the strength they will need to be a self-assured, strong-minded middle school student. "Bend like a willow or break like an oak." Willows survive the storm because they are strong, yet flexible. Oaks see only one way to get through it - and when the storm is too rough, they break. No more broken kids...let's equip them with the tools they need in order to "bend" in the storm. ~Tara Greene (mother of three adult children)She's so right! Teach your child to not allow other people to define him/her. Feelings will be hurt because children this age do not have filters. They are all still a work in progress. Your son/daughter's attitude towards a difficult situation can/will make all the difference. Teach your child to BEND!
Confidence in Communication
What advice would you give new middle school parents?
Lisa later added,
Teach your child to ask their teachers questions. Even if they are your questions. They need to learn now how to communicate with their teachers, not rely on their parents to do it. Was that harsh? ~Lisa Riccardi (Parent of college sophomore and high school freshman)I should also note that Lisa worked as a substitute teacher in my middle school for a few years, and she hit the nail on the head. Don't send notes to your child's teacher if the child can communicate the question himself/herself. Confidential questions withstanding, I'd much rather listen and answer the child. Truthfully, it's just quicker! Building good communication skills is important, and this is the best place to start.
Lisa later added,
Communication with teachers is a good practice for communication with all adults in the future. 'Teachers' are a good place to start this valuable skill.Yes! When this generation of young people is constantly looking down at a cell phone screen, you have to be concerned about those face-to face moments. Where else are they going to learn this skill?
Before your child starts middle school...
Right after school ended this year, I was sitting at the ballpark when a friend was rehashing the events of her son's sixth grade year. You know me! I'm a captive audience for such a conversation. Most of it was good, but she mentioned a few hiccups along the way. At one point, she said, "I wish I had known." Well, that got my wheels turning. I do know. I live it. Why can't I help other parents? So, here we are.
Recently, I posed the question to my friends, family members, and former parents. Specifically, I asked these two questions:
As always, thanks for reading!
Recently, I posed the question to my friends, family members, and former parents. Specifically, I asked these two questions:
- What do you wish you'd known before your child started middle school?
- What advice would you give to a brand new middle school parent?
As always, thanks for reading!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Today's THE day!
OK, so I didn't post this year like I wanted. Planning, grading papers, and attempting to be creative have taken all my time. Unfortunately, my professional blog took a backseat. (Better this than my parenting!) I'm not giving up, though! After today, it's over. Yep, it's state standardized testing day. I'm a language arts teacher, and today, my students take that portion of the test. Every lesson I've taught, every strategy created, every modification made, every decision thought out
comes
down
to
today.
Aaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!
At breakfast this morning, my 4th grader was so aware of my tenseness that she felt the need to tell me she thinks I'm a good teacher. I hope she's right, because I don't "feel" good. As a matter of fact, I feel sick. As she gets out of the car, she smiles and wishes me luck; I tell her I'd feel better if she were one of my students.
Once at school, I visit my language arts partner. She's a young teacher, but she feels confident. Her only question addresses whether she should pass out candy. I tell her I do, because research shows that sucking on a piece of hard candy helps you concentrate.
As classes are getting settled, I make it a point to visit a few key students: the two boys who "Christmas treed" the practice test and a few more that may need a little confidence boost. I'm all too aware that his or her mood could mean everything today.
Now, I'm sitting at my desk watching my homeroom take the test. It's an accelerated class. They are making me feel better. They are smart and confident; I know they'll do well. They've worked hard this year, and I'm proud of them. I still stress over them because their scores were already high. They need to make a decent amount of growth this year, but that's difficult when some of them are already in the 99th percentile.
One of my lowest students in this class finishes first with half the time to spare. He pretends to look over his answers. I make a mental note to pay close attention to his data when scores return.
A good third of this class has a cold or allergies. I've passed out a ton of tissues. I love to be made to read a bunch of boring passages when I have a dripping nose...don't you?
During the testing break, the teacher across the hall noted that one of my highest students in her homeroom only used 25 out of the 76 minutes she was allotted. Confidence or arrogance?
We have had our break, and now we are starting part 2. I brought a good supply of my favorite protein bars and chocolate dipped granola bars for them to eat during the break. Almost all of them are gone.
Bellies are full, candy has been replenished, teacher has been talked off the ledge.
Watching my iPhone timer, I realize that in a matter of 62 minutes, it is over. For me, it all comes down to one test on one day.
Did I do enough?
Could I have done more?
What should I do differently next year?
21:09 left. My nerves have finally gotten the best of me, and I'm off to the restroom (TMI, I know!). Most of the kids have finished the second part, and the finality is setting in. What's done is done.
I'm able to start thinking about the rest of the week. I've collected a short set of standards from my colleagues that I know I can help review for math, science, and social studies portions of TCAP. I'll do math today since that test is tomorrow. I'm excited that my language arts partner will be combining classes with me today so we can review the kids together and do some co-planning for the rest of the year.
When the short scores return, we'll comb through each score and plan some more. We'll note our strengths and weaknesses and design a plan that will supplement those deficits. The data will tell a story. Is it reliable?
2:23 left. The kids are getting squirrely. Nothing more to do today. Now, we'll begin the 7th grade curriculum to give them a confidence boost into the next school year.
0:00 Language arts portion of the TCAP is over. Another teacher tells me that one of my boys fell asleep twice during the first part of the test. Child sleeping through the test DOES NOT equal teacher accountability, but I will have to answer for his scores.
comes
down
to
today.
Aaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!
At breakfast this morning, my 4th grader was so aware of my tenseness that she felt the need to tell me she thinks I'm a good teacher. I hope she's right, because I don't "feel" good. As a matter of fact, I feel sick. As she gets out of the car, she smiles and wishes me luck; I tell her I'd feel better if she were one of my students.
Once at school, I visit my language arts partner. She's a young teacher, but she feels confident. Her only question addresses whether she should pass out candy. I tell her I do, because research shows that sucking on a piece of hard candy helps you concentrate.
As classes are getting settled, I make it a point to visit a few key students: the two boys who "Christmas treed" the practice test and a few more that may need a little confidence boost. I'm all too aware that his or her mood could mean everything today.
Now, I'm sitting at my desk watching my homeroom take the test. It's an accelerated class. They are making me feel better. They are smart and confident; I know they'll do well. They've worked hard this year, and I'm proud of them. I still stress over them because their scores were already high. They need to make a decent amount of growth this year, but that's difficult when some of them are already in the 99th percentile.
One of my lowest students in this class finishes first with half the time to spare. He pretends to look over his answers. I make a mental note to pay close attention to his data when scores return.
A good third of this class has a cold or allergies. I've passed out a ton of tissues. I love to be made to read a bunch of boring passages when I have a dripping nose...don't you?
During the testing break, the teacher across the hall noted that one of my highest students in her homeroom only used 25 out of the 76 minutes she was allotted. Confidence or arrogance?
We have had our break, and now we are starting part 2. I brought a good supply of my favorite protein bars and chocolate dipped granola bars for them to eat during the break. Almost all of them are gone.
Bellies are full, candy has been replenished, teacher has been talked off the ledge.
Watching my iPhone timer, I realize that in a matter of 62 minutes, it is over. For me, it all comes down to one test on one day.
Did I do enough?
Could I have done more?
What should I do differently next year?
21:09 left. My nerves have finally gotten the best of me, and I'm off to the restroom (TMI, I know!). Most of the kids have finished the second part, and the finality is setting in. What's done is done.
I'm able to start thinking about the rest of the week. I've collected a short set of standards from my colleagues that I know I can help review for math, science, and social studies portions of TCAP. I'll do math today since that test is tomorrow. I'm excited that my language arts partner will be combining classes with me today so we can review the kids together and do some co-planning for the rest of the year.
When the short scores return, we'll comb through each score and plan some more. We'll note our strengths and weaknesses and design a plan that will supplement those deficits. The data will tell a story. Is it reliable?
2:23 left. The kids are getting squirrely. Nothing more to do today. Now, we'll begin the 7th grade curriculum to give them a confidence boost into the next school year.
0:00 Language arts portion of the TCAP is over. Another teacher tells me that one of my boys fell asleep twice during the first part of the test. Child sleeping through the test DOES NOT equal teacher accountability, but I will have to answer for his scores.
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